This Is Not A Hack

I was with an old friend last month who I hadn't seen for a long time. I’ve known her since we were 9, growing up in a small town in Ontario. We both “escaped” to the big smoke, learned a lot and have what we’d likely both categorize as highly successful lives. We also have both dealt with enormous shit storms and professional challenges and pain and lived to talk about it. She is a hysterically dry and funny person, and someone I love and admire so I relish talking to her about life as I always laugh and I always learn. 

As we walked and talked our conversation took an unexpected turn and blew my mind. Like me, she is in her late 40’s. She and her husband adopted a baby boy this year (nope, that’s not the mind blower); she made partner at her law firm (still nope); and also managed to lose 10 (or more) lbs. This last part I was hearing for the first time, and all of it together was incredibly inspiring. That was when I obtusely asked her how she lost 10 lbs, and did she have any “tips”. 

I cringe writing this as I am personally revolted by the term “hacks” and “tips” and “5 easy ways to”... Life is not easy! Life is not hacks! But I was curious, and I asked her. 

Like only Erin can, she replied “Um, I made choices” in her dry and unintentionally hilarious tone. Why is it funny? It was funny because Erin is a highly intelligent, accomplished and amazing woman, but this is without a doubt the smartest thing I had ever heard her say.  We kept walking in the snow and I realized the magnitude of those 3 words. It quickly became clear that I, the coach, had just asked her, the lawyer, how to lose 10 lbs. Was I kidding??? WE ALL KNOW HOW TO LOSE 10 LBS!  It was laughable and it was the unintentional kick in the arse I needed to remember something I want to remind you of: we all have control of our choices all day long. We are one choice away from a new outcome in everything we do. 

You can make choices at every moment of your day.

You can make your own choices.

Make Choices.

It took me 3 “reads” of that to finally get it myself.

We are in another lockdown here in Canada where I live. 

That can mean many things.

What does this mean for you?

It means what you want it to mean.

(Bear with me)

It can mean you are (understandably) frustrated that your kids will be home, your kitchen a hideous mess, your personal relationships perhaps more strained, and the essential services you do use having even longer lines. I have decided this is the “Pissed off, full stop” choice. 

Or 

It can mean you are understandably frustrated and will make it work … and will give yourself and your roommates, family, animals, post office clerks, doctors offices a break and take a breath when you think that this time, is actually, the breaking point. I call this the Pissed off and also thriving choice. 

Be like Erin. Make Choices. No, I do not expect you to go adopt a beautiful baby boy (although that would be cool!), make partner, or lose weight. I simply want you to stop and think about what you are doing before you do it. Is the choice you are making serving the person you are and are trying to be more of?

Thank you Erin, from all of us, for the reminder.

Looks like it’s working for you!

Happy 2022.

-Jen